


Night Terrors

by thevaliantdust



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Comfort, Multi, Nightmares, PTSD, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 01:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9150757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevaliantdust/pseuds/thevaliantdust
Summary: Ever since the fall of the Conclave, Keyleth has suffered from horrible nightmares. Usually Vax knows just how to comfort her, but he's not here, so Pike will have to figure it out.





	

The sound of her scream is piercing and all too familiar. Pike shoots upright in her bed, frozen, head ever so slightly cocked towards the hallway. Even through the stone walls of their keep, she can hear the faint whimpering that always follows the screams. Next she’ll hear the deep, whispered reassurances of Vax’s soothing voice, the soft choking sobs getting softer, breathing slowing. She never can hear what he says to Keyleth, but whatever he does, it works.

Except he’s not here tonight. He left early this morning, face somber in that way that he only ever looked when she called on him. He’d ducked his head into her temple on his way out, the only waking figures in the keep, as pre-dawn scraps of light filtered through the windows.

“I gotta go, Pickle,” he’d said, meeting her eyes to communicate what he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud. “I’ve left her to sleep, can you tell the others where I’ve gone?” He gestured back towards the room he and Keyleth had shared since their return to the keep, then broadened the sweep of his hand to include the rest of the rooms. 

“Of course,” Pike had replied, knowing the tight look of resignation she’d see on Keyleth’s face later that morning, and not being able to blame Vax for avoiding it. “Fly safe.” And then he was gone.

In the darkness, she slips out of bed, toes curling as her feet meet ice cold flagstones. Her oversized sleepshirt-- a hand-me-down from Vax with a funny slogan stitched across the front-- drags on the floor as she shuffles across the hall to Keyleth’s room. Pushing open and leaning around the door, she can see a figure silhouetted in the moonlight, tossing restlessly in her sleep.

“Keyleth.”

Her feet patter over to the bed, and she reaches up to grab the druid’s arm.

“Keyleth,” she repeats a little louder, tugging gently on Keyleth’s arm, stroking the soft skin of her inner arm with a thumb. She doesn’t expect the panicked yell as Keyleth wrenches her arm away, rolling onto her side, back arched defensively. 

“Keyleth!”

Pike manages to keep her voice gentle despite her surprise and urgency. She clambers up onto the bed, following Keyleth’s retreat. More cautious now, she reaches out and places a hand on her shoulder, running it softly down to rest in the crook of her arm.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Keyleth, you’re safe-”

She jumps back as Keyleth starts, whimpering cut off suddenly as she scrambles backwards and hits her head on the solid oak headboard. Keyleth’s wild eyes meet hers and for a moment Pike’s heart drops at the complete lack of recognition in them. And then, like a flood, she watches Keyleth return from whatever hell her mind had her trapped in, and she breaks.

A deep, shuddering breath wracks Keyleth’s body, and she curls in on herself in slow motion, arms wrapping around and knees meeting her chest. She tucks her head down towards her chest, either not noticing or not caring as her head slams on her knees. The release of breath is equally heaving, and it’s almost as if she withers as it goes.

Pike has seen a lot in her years as a warrior and cleric, but nothing could prepare her for this sight. She’s seen Keyleth awkward and angry and vengeful and sweet and silly and hopelessly heartbroken, but this is another beast entirely. Halfway between kneeling and sitting, she stays frozen in her shock, overwhelmed by the choking intensity of Keyleth’s fear. 

A gasping sob breaks her reverie, and instinct takes over. She reaches forward but stops herself, remembering that her last two attempts at touching Keyleth ended poorly. Instead she shifts to kneel in front of Keyleth’s tense form. 

“It’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe,” she begins. She has no idea what to say, no idea which particular horror Keyleth is fighting in her mind. She’s never quite been able to make out what Vax was saying all those nights, only his soothing baritone, his endlessly repeating rhythms.

_How can he stand it?_ Watching Keyleth like this is nothing short of torture. She can’t imagine being witness to this almost every night. 

“Keyleth, please,” she implores softly, desperate to reach her. “I’m here, you’re okay, please, look at me, Keyleth, look at me, I’m here.”

As she pleads soothingly she wonders if healing magic has any effect on this sort of injury. Because surely it counts as a wound, a scar from the battle like any other. And yet totally unlike anything she’s ever healed before, she has to consider that this may be beyond her. 

She has run out of words and still Keyleth sobs, choking as she struggles for air. She needs to breathe, properly, _now_. And then maybe, just maybe, Pike knows what to do. Sitting up on her knees, she leans closer to Keyleth, bringing herself as close to the shaking woman as she dares without touching her. 

And she breathes in.

Waits.

Breathes out.

Loudly, forcing the air through her lungs, breathing steadily. Steady enough for them both.

It takes a while, it takes forever, but eventually Pike hears Keyleth’s breathing slow to meet hers. Deeper breaths, her ribcage expanding, holding, releasing air with painfully tight shudders. But she isn’t hyperventilating anymore, and that’s something.

“Keyleth,” Pike tries again softly when she thinks it’s safe to do so.

This time Keyleth raises her head, though she doesn’t quite meet her eyes. Pike’s shoulders sag in relief. 

“Keyleth,” she breathes again, entirely for herself. She’s back, she’s here, Pike hasn’t lost her. 

“Hey,” she says softly, waiting to see if she can get her to meet her eyes. Her eyes are still downcast, but the slight upwards tilt of her head tells Pike she heard. 

Pike reaches her hand out, inch by inch, making sure Keyleth can see it coming. When she doesn’t shy away or seem too tense, Pike settles a hand on her wrist. Keyleth still doesn’t look up, but her muscles slacken ever so slightly under Pike’s touch. Pike brushes her thumb gently along her skin in soft, repetitive strokes.

“Hey, you’re okay, you’re okay, I’m here, you’re okay.”

She’s not sure at this point if the mantra is for Keyleth or herself. 

After a little while, a few minutes of soft words and softer touches, Keyleth’s arms wrapped around her knees loosen, and she finally meets Pike’s searching gaze.

“I-I’m s-s-s-sorry,” she stutters out, her breathing still uneven. She takes the hand not held by Pike and wipes streaks of tears from her cheeks.

“Don’t be silly,” Pike says, but she tries to keep the reproach out of her voice. “I’m always here, you know that.” 

“You don-don’t have to stay with me, I’m f-fine,” Keyleth struggles to get out, twisting the corners of her lips into a pathetic imitation of a smile. Somehow, this is where Pike’s composure snaps.

“Stop that,” she orders fiercely, not angry so much as hurt. She reaches up and presses her forehead to Keyleth’s, bringing her other hand up to find the tear soaked one by Keyleth’s side. “Please don’t push me away.”

She doesn’t realise quite how deep the ache in her chest is until she utters the words. “Let me help you.”

Keyleth doesn’t fight against her touch. If anything, she leans into it. Pike brushes one wild lock of hair behind Keyleth’s ear, fingers lingering softly against her cheek. 

“Okay?” she asks forcefully, tension building in her chest, ready to fight.

The tension breaks and flows out of her as Keyleth nods slowly, moving incrementally where their heads are pressed together. In response, Pike buries her fingers deeper in Keyleth’s hair, gently running between the soft ringlets.

“Okay.” Pike breathes, and suddenly the exhaustion she’s been holding back hits her in waves. Rolling to the side and shifting up to sit against the headboard, she tugs Keyleth with her. She follows without any resistance, seeming to know exactly what Pike wants. 

Keyleth lays her head in Pike’s lap, her body curled in tightly towards the gnome. Again, Pike runs her hands through Keyleth’s long hair, trailing her fingers right down her back to the base of her spine. Keyleth gives another shudder, but it’s different this time, and she snuggles in closer to Pike, her fingers curling against Pike’s upper thigh, seeking a point of contact.

They breathe in unison in the near silence of the painfully early hours of the morning, finding comfort and safety in their soothing proximity. Keyleth falls asleep soon after, face softening in the early morning light. Pike stays up for a little while longer, watching intently as if she can somehow see the nightmares coming.

Eventually exhaustion takes over and her head drops onto her shoulder, unwilling to move and disturb Keyleth for her own comfort. She drifts in and out of sleep, not quite able to let go of her watchful reverence for Keyleth.

It’s a feeling, more than a movement or a sound, that makes her look up. In the doorway, Vax stands, frozen.

“Pike?” he whispers, confused and worried, she can hear it in the shake of his voice. 

“She had another nightmare,” Pike replies softly, careful not to move and wake her. “I didn’t know what to do, I trie-”

“Thank you,” Vax interrupts breathily, with such intensity it takes Pike aback, and she shakes her head in response, flustered. 

Vax’s eyes search hers, then flick to Keyleth’s tightly curled form across Pike’s lap. 

“That can’t be comfortable, Pickle,” he says softly, moving over to the bed. “Here, I’ll hold her so you can move.”

Pike can’t help the sudden spike of hurt than rattles through her chest at his words. She tries not to show it, not ready to address exactly where those feelings lead.

“I don’t want to wake her,” she replies, flicking her eyes down to the sleeping figure in her lap, then back up to Vax.

He laughs softly, barely more than a whisper. “You won’t. She sleeps like the dead after a nightmare.” He pauses fractionally, as if regretting his choice of words, before continuing his move to lift Keyleth’s shoulders.

Pike slips out from under Keyleth, watching Vax lithely move to take her place. He slides down the bed so Keyleth’s head rests on his chest instead.

Pike bites her lip, slipping off the bed silently. “Goodnight,” she whispers, unable to turn and say the words to his face. She tells herself these feelings are exhaustion, concern for her friends, nothing more. But she’s not a very good liar, especially not to herself. She takes a single step towards the door before Vax’s voice catches her.

“Where are you going?”

She freezes, then turns slowly to face him, confused. 

“I didn’t mean for you to leave,” Vax explains, sounding about as nervous and apprehensive as she feels. “I just, I wanted you to be comfortable, so you could get some sleep.”

Pike isn’t sure how to respond, so she stays where she is, eyes roaming over him as if to divine some answers.

“It’s not easy,” he says, his eyes sweeping across Keyleth’s sweeping form, then back up to hers. His gaze seeks understanding, and she realises this is yet another experience they alone share. “You should try to get a few hours sleep at least,” he continues, leaning his head to the side slightly, an unassuming hand reaching out towards her.

She waits a second more before her feet make the choice for her. She clambers back onto the bed, shuffling across the mattress to lay next to Vax. His arm stretched out above her leaves the perfect crook to lay her head in, but she can’t quite bring herself to do it until his arm comes around her as puts a gentle pressure on her shoulder.

Like an anvil made of paper, her resolve crumples, scooting closer and nuzzling into his chest. Vax’s strong arm wraps around her, holding her tight against him in a way she didn’t quite realise she was craving until this moment. 

She looks across Vax’s chest, seeing Keyleth’s soft features mirroring her. She can’t help but reach over and tuck another stray lock of hair behind Keyleth’s ear, lacking the self control not to let her fingers linger over the druid’s cheek. Vax doesn’t seem to mind. He presses a gentle kiss to the top of Keyleth’s head with a small smile, then reaches over and presses a matching kiss to the top of Pike’s head. 

“Goodnight Pickle,” he whispers softly. Her eyelids are suddenly the heaviest things in the universe. 

“G’night,” she mumbles. She has a lot of thinking to do in the morning, but for now she embraces the warmth spreading through her chest as her breathing slows and sleep takes over.


End file.
